Why do you need to become more emotionally intelligent? 

Do you often find yourself in those situations where the idea of punching someone in the face seems as the only way to make yourself feel relived?!  

If not than scroll, just kidding…  keep reading! I’m not writing this for myself.🤪

As human beings we tend to let our emotions direct our actions in the same way as animals are alerted by their instincts. And for animals this way of functioning works quite well, but when it comes to humans, acting with their “emotional instincts” becomes a quite concerning case.

We all have had moments of overreacting or acting so impulsively that we regretted not only later but also many years after it.  And you have all the right of the world to say: “But this is who I am and that’s how I cope with my emotions because I can’t repress them.” And that’s completely wrong! It’s all a matter of choices. You can’t choose how you feel but you can surely choose how you act. To make my view more understandable let me cite one of my favorite quotes from Nelson Mandela. “Courage is not the absence of fear, but the triumph over it.” Meaning that fear exist in every single one of us but the ones who choose to not be controlled by fear and take actions against it are the ones who have full power over themselves and over their life. In parallel with the quote mentioned above we could say being emotionally intelligent isn’t equal with the absence of emotions, but with the ability to triumph over them. I want to emphasize another valid point view that many people confuse, and that is that “the absence of emotions is not a sign of Emotional Intelligence but is mostly a sign of psychopathy.”

Additionally, we all have positive and negative emotions but taking control over them is how we master the art of self-control, an art that is essential for living a successful life . We have the greatest weapon that we refuse to use and that is “choice”. You have a choice, hard or easy, it’s a matter of calculations on what weights more in your favor according to your goals and values. It takes less than a second to destroy relationships, projects, deals, dreams if we became a slave of emotions just because that’s how society taught us how to react to different situations. Emotional intelligence is essential for every human being and I think that everyone should start to train their emotions in the same way they train their muscles.

Being more emotionally intelligent will greatly grow the probability :of living a happier and peaceful life, of getting along with other people from family to friends and colleagues but even to strangers. One other aspect that will be improved by growing your EI would be the probability of making your dreams come true and the overcoming of hardships like a boss. A lot of physical problems that come from emotional damage will start to be less common from anxiety and personality disorders to other problems like high blood pressure, depression, abnormal heart rhythm etc. In conclusion the training and the use of EI recovers not only your mental health but also your physical health.

Disappointment and hurt, the poisons that we give to ourselves for other people’s mistakes due to the special bond we share with them are no longer going to cut you but they will free you. Yes, you will be free, free from the negative energy that these people possess and free from the weight of individuals that do not deserve your effort and that can damage your potential to give your best. From personal experience I would say that these poisons became a source of strength to not only be a better individual but also a more determined one toward my goals and toward my growth. But that doesn’t mean that the hurt and the grief wasn’t there. The emotional and physical pain was there but I slowly forgave myself, it was me that was getting hurt and It was me that deserved to be in peace, and that is why I trained my EI to give peace to myself. It helped me not only to learn to forgive myself but also to not take nothing personally even the things that were related to me personally.

“Do not take in heart the words of the ignorants”, it was a quote that I made and reminded myself every time that I used to get drown in emotions.  And do you know what do I mean with this quote? To not get influenced by the words that somebody that is ignorant towards your capability, personality, goals and individuality says because they cannot see in your perspective and that’s completely fine because that perspective belongs only to you. No matter how much we try we will never be able to convince everyone of what we are capable of doing or to just make our inner world closely known to them. But that shouldn’t stop us from doing what we are drawn to and pursuing the things that are related with our authenticity.

If we are thoughtful enough we would notice that there are so many hidden blessings in so many bad experiences that we rarely seem to acknowledge because of the different forms that they are shown to us.  Nevertheless, a deeper look and a different approach would be a great help to take something valuable even in those situations when things look hopeless.  

In order to not destroy valuable relationships and things that took us time to create we should consider teaching ourselves 2 main commands. First “Pause” and second “analyze”. “Pause and analyze”, meaning {pause!}, to not react immediately according to your emotions and then {analyze.} if whether would it costs you more to do that impulsive behavior that your urges find it hard to neglect. I emphasize It’s not about what you feel but is about what act you choose to do or not to do.

Weak people tend to blame others for everything bad that happens to them and start to put their self in a passive victim mode that only attracts failure to their life. And do you know why? Because they have given away their power. As Alice Walker says: “the most common way people give away their power is by thinking they don’t have any.” In this case by thinking that they do not have power over their self. It’s not other people that control or make somebody’s life miserable but it’s their reaction towards them, their emotional investment toward them and the power they give to them over their inner world. And if this power has been taken from you, take it back because you’re the captain of your boat not others they are just troubled waters near your boat. Train yourself to have power over yourself no matter how much it takes, don’t neglect yourself.

Because to have power over yourself is the greatest power and favor that a human being can do to himself/herself.

Paradox Media Blog

Published by Paradox Media

A freelance writer who chooses to share its authentic viewpoints with the world .💎

2 thoughts on “Why do you need to become more emotionally intelligent? 

  1. Reblogged this on Self Help (Personal Growth) Books and commented:
    “One cannot always tell what it is that keeps us shut in, confines us, seems to bury us, but still one feels certain barriers, certain gates, certain walls. is all this imagination, fantasy? I do not think so. And then one asks: My God! Is it for long, is it for ever, is it for eternity? Do you know what frees one from this captivity? It is very deep serious affection. Being friends, being brothers, love, that is what opens the prison by supreme power, by some magic force.”
    – Vincent Van Goch, letter to his brother, July 1880 (from Open: An Autobiography by Andre Agassi)

    http://www.beyondboundaries.limits.wordpress.com

    Hi
    Thanks for the follow (+ like(s)
    Happy blogging/writing and all the best with your blog
    “early bird sleepy-head” craig

    https://craigsbooks.wordpress.com/2022/01/13/and-as-imagination-bodies-forth-the-forms-of-things-unknown-the-poets-pen/

    http://www.craigsblogs.wordpress.com
    http://www.craigsbooks.wordpress.com
    “It always seems impossible…
    until it gets done!”
    – Nelson Mandela
    http://www.mandelamadiba.wordpress.com
    http://www.craigsquotes.wordpress.com
    You CAN…if you THINK you can

    “Put your fears behind you and your dreams in front of you…always.”

    Best wishes from the First City to see the light

    PPS

    Don’t worry about the world ending today
    it’s already tomorrow in scenic and tranquil ‘little’ New Zealand

    Like

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