Being yourself has always been a grand challenge that has been overcome only by the most daring people. And it is still a challenge, in fact, the most beautiful challenge that a human being can endure during this lifetime.
You may ask why I use the term Hypocritical society? Well…. It’s the reality we are living; there is no doubt in it. To be more clear on what I mean by this, I want to share with you some of my viewpoints regarding societal hypocrisy.
For example, in our school system, our mind is nourished to believe that learning should be more important than grades and that theory is just a tool to practice what we learn. But in reality, school values grades more than learning, and the view is just a task we know to memorize without an approach to its use or how it can be put into practice in our life.
“The major object of all schooling is to force the students to cram their memories with facts instead of teaching them how to organize and make practical use of facts.”- Napoleon Hill from the book Outwitting the Devil
Another typical example is work. It is needed for you to prove that you are highly capable of doing the job only with a diploma or some participation in some extracurricular activities. Therefore, if it is written in a letter is more convincing than actually given a trial chance to do the work.
We talk about equality, but the only one who doesn’t differentiate people by race, age, gender, or what action they take is MONEY. With the right amount of money, killers become preachers of peace, and dumbly others eat this lie too; I mean, why not when it is hidden so good—getting away with killing, with rape, with molestation, with human trafficking without any evidence and justice that’s what money do.
“Every veil desired to be lifted, except the veil of hypocrisy.”- Richard Garnett
Covid – 19 was a problem for all of us, and we all should raise awareness in order to protect each other and everyone’s life in this world. We all should get engaged and give our contribution but I don’t see this push in other common problems that we have.
What about Poverty, Climate change, Discrimination, Pollution, Depression, Bullying, Lack of education? Aren’t these problems for all of us. Or these aren’t so pleasing or concerning for the public eye.
We live in a society that wouldn’t even move a finger if it doesn’t get burned badly in its ass because what is its benefit?! Actually, it is more beneficial to be less negligent toward other challenges that we face today, but …. Evil remains evil
I am sure that even you have witnessed a lot of cases of this societal hypocrisy that seems to be spread more than ever, from inequality to double standard to misinformation and a lot of others.
Now let’s jump to the main theme “How to be yourself in a messy and hypocritical society like this?!”
- Know yourself!
There’s no way to be yourself when you don’t even know who you are. To do that, you have to take some time to explore and to understand yourself better.
Get to know your strongest points and your weakest point, find a way to use your strongest points to your benefit, and find a way to work on your most vulnerable points. Learn new skills, visit new places, meet new people, challenge yourself and enjoy the process.
Make yourself able to specify what makes you feel good about yourself, find that hobby that activity that makes your thinking clear. To find it, you have to try it. For some people, physical activity can be a great way to be more in tune with their thought, but that’s not the same for everyone. You can try writing, painting, running, yoga, meditating, listening to music, piano, etc. to decide what works for you.
Explore what triggers you to behave in a non-authentic way and spend time soothing its impact until it is completely gone. Choose to be the person that you want to be. You don’t need to find yourself, and you have to create it. You have to choose to be the first of your own kind. That’s the only way to embrace being a unique individual and being you.
“The world will ask you who you are, and if you don’t know, the world will tell you.”- Carl Jung
2.Surround yourself with people of values
It’s really important to surround yourself with people worthy of your time and your company unless you want to screw your life for a couple of years.
People of value are those people that help you grow and make you feel good about yourself. People of matter are those people who uplift you and push you to do better, not those who try to change you to benefit them.
As Denzel Washington says: “If you hang around 5 idiots, you will be the 6th“.
Even though some people think they can’t be affected by their circle and decide to stay in an environment that is harmful to them.
Everyone is affected by the circle of people they choose to stay with. In a way or another, you will start to lose a part of your individuality without even noticing it. And that happens only if you stay with the wrong tribe or when you don’t hold a specific time only for yourself.
3.Accept that people have different perceptions.
To some people, you may be a piece of crap, and to some others, you may be the smartest and charming young lady ever to exist.
But you decide what subjective opinion people have based on their perception and brain capability you choose to take it to heart.
Best is not to take nothing from other people perception but to be sure on yourself, because are your doubts that destroy you more than what people say.
Also be careful to not fall into the common trap “I can convince them on what kind of person I am.” Wanting everyone to like you is how you become a puppet of everyone.
Find peace in owning and knowing who you are proudly.
“Life is all about perception. positive versus negative. Whichever you choose will affect and more than likely reflect your outcomes.” – Sonya Teclai
4.Make alone time sacred
Always make sure to make time for yourself. Make time to take care for your body, soul and mind. It is more than needed to give your best even to yourself. During this time choose to do some things that are more related to you, like for example a hobby that you have or something fun that makes you feel good.
Reading a new book, writing, seeing a movie, cooking a delicious meal, taking care of your hair and face, working out, going in a trip, meditating, dancing, and every other thing that makes you feel better but also more energized. If you don’t have a positive alone time the addiction from other people with get really harmful.
In order to fully be in control you have to pour in a balance way enough time for yourself, for your loved ones and for your other activities such as career or education.
“Many people suffer from the fear of finding oneself alone, and so they don’t find themselves at all.”- Rollo May
5.Take the risk
Take the risk to do that thing that makes you feel alive. Take the risk to try those things you have always wanted.
Fucking live your life, don’t die without even feeling that you lived. Challenge yourself. Be the first to prove that it can be done as you wanted it. You can’t fully enjoy life if you keep eating every lie that this society tries to feed your subconscious with.
Choose that lifestyle you want, give yourself first permission to dream, and stop limiting yourself. Every dream and every vision that you have is in you for a reason, and pursuing them leads to a path of surprises. You will be surprised at how much you will learn about yourself and about the world when you start to pursue those dreams and goals that you have.
Taking risks toward the fields of your interest will help you unlock different portals of your potential. Unlocking these different portals is the greatest feeling of self-discovery and fulfillment of a human being in this lifetime.
“Risk leads to greatness.”-Tim Sullivan, ‘The Dangerous Lives Of Altar Boys’, 2002.
Society has never changed and will never change but it will surely adapt with you if you don’t lose yourself to adapt with it.
Society will adapt with you only if you make sure to fil those spaces where society chooses to put its threads, similar with the threads of a marionette. If you are bending society will easily break you but if you don’t bend and stay bold society won’t even, try to break you.